Let's cancel these two words when talking about our abilities

I’ll never forget the feeling when my parents and older brother finally deemed me ready to train with Coach H. My older brother had been working with him for years and this particular trainer had helped him shave seconds off his sprint times and to add distance to his long and triple jump records. For me, it meant I was becoming a ‘serious’ athlete. It was one of my first workouts. My alarm shocked me out of bed at 5:45 AM so that we could arrive at Pennington Stadium (a typical, massive Texas high school football stadium that feels more like a college arena) before the workout began.

The workout of the day was stadiums, which, up until that point, I had never done. My main objective was simple: not to embarrass my older brother. I also wanted to do my best to keep up with the other older kids. At the time, I would have told you that I intended to T.R.Y. to keep up. Well that perspective changed very quickly. We began the workout with a dynamic warm-up. This was always my favorite because your body gets nice and warmed up and then you feel ‘loose’. I was feeling GOOD. Coach explained the workout: we would be doing ten stadiums; up the bleachers and back down the stairs (plus some pushups, etc. in the middle). There was a reason why we would be running up the bleachers was because in a sprint, there is a technique to have your stride open up the farther that you run. In this stadium, the bleachers mimicked this approach as the bleachers got slightly wider towards the top.

By the fourth set, I began to feel my calves and quads burn. By the sixth, the burn that I had begun to experience in my quads and calves had crept up into my throat. It felt as if the bleachers had become twice as tall. Pushing myself to do one more set, I sprinted up the bleachers as fast as I could. Arms pumping, exhaling an 'ah' every time my foot hit another bleacher just like my older brother was doing. On my way down each step felt like my body was revolting, my legs had become noodles. My brain felt as though it was levitating above my head. The moment I got to the bottom, I threw up. Coach came over to check on me when I looked up at him and said the first thing on my mind that I thought would get me a pass. With the little air left in my lungs, I exhaled “I C.A.N.T.".

He got even closer to me, locked eyes, and said something I’ll never forget...

He said "Don’t ever say that word in my workouts again”. He also told me that there was another word that was banned and that was T.R.Y.

Ironically, I don't remember my brother being embarrassed by me in the workout at all. Likely because he was also surviving the workout himself. What I do remember is from that moment on, anytime we said these words in his workouts we would owe 50 pushups immediately. Given that I have alluded to the difficulty of the workouts already, adding 50 pushups for a word was not desired and it quickly changed my vocabulary about my abilities.

For years, that lesson impacted not only the way I communicated, but also the way that I perceived my own abilities. I found a way to do the hard things and to accomplish many of my goals, sports-wise. What I'm learning now, is that this lesson goes far beyond sports. That day, the message wasn't just avoiding two words. The lesson was a mindset shift that changed the way I saw myself and my abilities.

I stopped 'trying to make the shot'. I made it or I didn't (which encouraged me to learn, improve, and to make the next one).

Words shape our lives. The things we say, the thoughts we have, and the stories that we repeat create our worlds. When we believe that more is possible, we're more likely to recognize opportunities - and more willing to pursue them. This is also why differing perspectives are so powerful in teams. Different people see different possibilities. We can do almost anything. Whether we will or won’t do something is another story. So in this time of change, specifically, in my case, recently returning to work as a new mom…we need to cancel the words T.R.Y. and C.A.N.T. from our vocabulary when speaking about our abilities.

Hold me accountable and if you see me pumping out 50 pushups...you'll know why!

Let’s do it together. Two less words, 50 pushups at a time.